Known by Our Love: How We Resist Helplessness in a World
of Hate
arnie.cole@backtothebible.org
Sep 21, 2025 / Arnie Cole
I got a text the other day from our daughter. One of the girls
in our barn had said that Charlie Kirk deserved to die because he
was such a terrible human being. My daughter didn’t fire back with
more angry words or try to win an argument. Instead, with quiet
wisdom, she simply said, “We can choose to disagree,” and left
it there.
When I read her message, I started thinking. As a Christ-
follower, what could I possibly say to someone who feels that way?
How do you respond when the hatred is so strong that even murder
seems justifiable?
And then it struck me: moments like these only add to the
heaviness we already carry. Many mornings, when my feet hit the
floor, I wonder, does what I do today even matter? The places I go,
the conversations I either have or avoid, the prayers I say… All
of it can feel so completely insignificant. Then I turn on the
news, and it’s more of the same: chaos, injustice, hostility. It’s
easy to believe that no matter how hard we try, nothing ever
changes. That creeping sense of powerlessness is what psychologists
call learned helplessness. It’s where repeated setbacks and constant
negativity convince us we have no control. Spiritually, it can kill
our hope, blunt our action, and silence our love.
*The Deepening Shadows
I wanted you to know that your responses to the Learned Help-
lessness Assessment, which many of you took last week (we will have
the full analysis for you next week), showed this clearly:
Most of us doubt that our daily actions make a difference.
Most of us are hesitant to step forward in faith, unsure that we
have anything worth offering.
Most of us regret, and sometimes feel shame, for what we didn’t do.
Thus, when another tragedy strikes—like the recent assassin-
ation of Charlie Kirk, a public figure killed while speaking on a
university campus—it doesn’t just add news items to our feed. It
feeds the fear that strong voices are silenced and that speaking or
trying to speak will make us targets more than instruments of love.
And then there’s the ugliness around the response: mocking,
celebrating, re-enacting violence, public shaming, online cruelty.
These acts of hate amplify the sense that the world is hostile,
that we’re already defeated before we begin.
*Why This Magnifies Helplessness
When we see that speaking out or showing faith might invite
ridicule, threats, or worse, the risk feels too high and many pull
back afraid of the cost. When we see people mock grief even at
memorials, what hope is there to show compassion? And this just
makes us feel isolated and silenced. The hatred we experience con-
vinces us that we’re alone in our convictions and as a result, we
begin to censor ourselves and shrink from our public demonstrations
of faith.
*What Faith Tells Us
Christian hope doesn’t deny the darkness. But it does insist
that love still matters. Especially when it feels like nothing else
does. Jesus didn’t say we’d be known by our outrage, our power, or
our arguments. He said, “By this everyone will know that you are my
disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).
The Apostle Paul reminds us that “Love does no harm to a
neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans
13:10.) He’s saying that even when institutions fail or society
turns toxic, we can choose love. But he knows it’s not easy, so he
encourages us, “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due
season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). The
results may not be immediate, but they are eternal.
*Known By Love in a Time of Hate
If we are to resist helplessness, we must reclaim our identity
as Christ’s followers, not as people defined by fear, retaliation,
or despair, but as people defined by love. In other words:
When others curse, we bless.
When others mock, we comfort.
When others spread hate, we sow peace.
This doesn’t mean ignoring injustice or staying silent. It means
our response is anchored in love, not poisoned by bitterness for
those who hate everything we believe in. Imagine the testimony if,
in the wake of violence and hatred, Christ-followers became more
known for their love than the world is known for its hate.
*Small Steps Toward Breakthrough
So, what can we do to move ourselves towards a spiritual break-
through? First, anchor yourself in Scripture. Remind yourself of
who you are. That you are chosen, loved and sent by God. Next,
commit to speaking kindness to someone who may least expect it. When
sharing your faith, witness honestly. Admit your fears. Community
can be built through vulnerability.
Finally, pray for those who celebrate hate knowing that God’s
love can transform even the hardest of hearts. Step by step we can
stand courageously for truth.
*A Vision: Redefining What We Are Known For
Let’s imagine the kind of people we want to be remembered as:
Not shrinking back when hatred shouts.
Not silenced because the cost seems too high.
People whose love is louder, because it holds fast when others let
go.
The world might remember acts of hatred first. But God remembers
acts of love. And one day, that memory will matter more.
*Response
This week, choose one small act of love, something that costs
you humility, vulnerability, or sacrifice. And after doing it, write
it down. Pray about what it means. Trust that even in the face of
tragedy, even when it seems like nothing shifts, this act is doing
more than you know.
*In it, to Kingdom win it!**
God's Love is free and faith is free but hatred is what you
choose to destroy the gift of God and everyone around you.
Conservatively,
John
Conservativelyjohn.com 